BY DEBRA RICH GETTLEMAN

 

When you think about actors, who comes to mind? Brad Pitt? Jennifer Lopez? Laverne Cox? Right away your mind goes to an A list of superstars who earn millions every time they step onto the red carpet. But what you might not know is that there are a lot of actors who work consistently, make a nice living, and are essential to the business of show. Adam Kulbersh is one of those actors. “There’s a big world in the middle,” Adam shares. “I’m a middle-class actor.” 

 

 

You might not know his name, but you will definitely recognize his face. After hundreds of commercials and recurring tv roles on shows like SVU, Agents of Shield, and Better Things, Adam Kulbersh is a face you shouldn’t forget. A Jewish kid from Atlanta, Adam earned his BA in Russian Literature and his BFA in Theatre at the University of Texas before deciding to apply to be one of the first American college students to study at the famed Moscow Art Theatre in Russia. He was one of only four Americans accepted to the program. He lets me know it was tough.  “In American theatre programs you always get the feedback sandwich, you know, praise, criticism, praise. They don’t do that in Moscow.” In fact, to this day when faced with a daunting task, Adam reminds himself, “I made it through the Moscow Art Theatre. I can do anything.” That and he successfully ran the New York marathon in under four hours. Those two accomplishments help him confront all of life’s challenges. And Adam Kulbersh is not a man who shies away from challenges. 

As a single gay man wanting to adopt a child, Adam went through a lot to find his beloved son, Jack. “The adoption process is intense,” he recalls, “Especially when you’re going it solo.” From rigorous parenting classes and social worker visits to respectfully navigating complicated emotions from everyone involved, the ups and downs are like a roller coaster. 

“Growing up in the 80s,” Adam confides, “The idea of gay marriage and gay adoption was an absurd concept.. But that all changed over a very short period.” He grew up with a big family and big Jewish holiday celebrations. “Family and family traditions have always been very important to me,” he recalls. “Watching how a big family interacts, I always knew I wanted kids. “But when I was ready to start a family, there wasn’t a spouse or an almost spouse in my life.” So, after a lot of self-searching, Adam realized “Just because this one dream isn’t working out, it doesn’t mean you should delay this other thing. Because the window can pass on both.”

Parenting his son Jack, now in kindergarten, is unquestionably his favorite role. “Adopting a child is a very conscious process.” He states. “And it makes you really think and question what parenting should be about. My job is to give wings, not weights.” While he admits that parenting solo can be tough. He insists that the worst part is not having anyone else to make decisions with. “But the best part,” he laughs, “Is not having anyone else to make decisions with.”

Adam admits he’s faced plenty of roadblocks in his life. He lost his older sister as a young boy in a tragic playground accident. He faced deep struggles as a teen desperately trying to find himself. But he’s never lost his cheery upbeat disposition. “Finding the joy in the struggle is an inherently Jewish value,” he explains, “Nothing ever comes easy for us. We’re everyone’s scapegoat. But as Jews, we’ve learned how to be happy warriors, how to find the ‘ha ha’ in every situation.”

Finding the perfect school for Jack, who is Black, was very important for Kulbersh. The public schools in his area were racially diverse, but that diversity included few Black students. When he discovered Campbell Hall, where nearly half of the students are non-white, and where there is a thriving Black student population, he knew he had found a fabulous community of diversity. Creating a society for their blended family is key for Adam. “I want Jack to see himself in the other students, the teachers, the principals. An essential goal was to make sure he is surrounded by positive role models who look like him.”

Adam counts himself incredibly lucky on both personal and professional fronts. As an actor, he smiles, “I’ve been fortunate to play 3^rd Jew from the left on dozens of tv shows. I’m the guy they call when they’re looking for an average Joe.” He lovingly recounts a story about how an agent, early in his career, told him, “They’re looking for an average Joe, and Adam, there’s no one more average than you.” 

When he’s not acting, Adam keeps himself creatively active as an acting coach and writer in LA. He’s sold several tv shows and feature films and is now under contract to write movies for The Hallmark Channel. “I absolutely love it,” he shares, “I get to create happy worlds where things go right. It’s a nice escape for people. I’m incredibly lucky to have so many opportunities to stay creative.”

He’s currently loving his behind-the-scenes role as dialogue coach on the popular NBC show Lopez vs Lopez, starring George and Mayan Lopez. Adam’s job is to creatively support the talent in any way they need. The popular sitcom deals with the complicated father/daughter relationship. “It’s incredibly real,” he tells me, “The show deals with real issues that affect real families,” If you follow the Lopez family on social media, you know that George and Mayan have been very public about the challenges in their relationship. Adam says he’s impressed with the Lopez family’s fearless portrayal of the truth. “The show is so great because it’s honest, and funny as hell. They find the humor in awkward situations and uncomfortable relationships. But they never deny the truth.” In a Hollywood filled with perfect posturing and ever sunny family façades, that’s a rarity. After a successful first 13 episodes, the show was picked up for a full first season. And there are high hopes for more seasons to come. 

What’s next for Adam Kulbersh? Well, he’s not looking to “make it.” “What does that even mean,” he questions, “There is no destination called ‘made it.” I get to define success for myself.” Continuing to work and be creative is what Kulbersh wants. “If I never move up to 2^nd Jew from the left, that’s okay. As long as I get to tell stories and entertain people – I’ve succeeded. That’s my small way of contributing to the world.”