By Debra Rich Gettleman

Dr. Melanie Rich, (no relation), doesn’t necessarily look like a first responder as she sits in her tastefully appointed Scottsdale, AZ office. But she’s been on the ground helping victims cope with trauma for decades.

At Ben Taub hospital in Houston in 1975, she was part of the team that developed the first rape kit. She was one of several therapists on-call to help victims deal with the trauma of rape. From evidence collection to physical wound triage to the emotional overwhelm that affects victims of rape, Dr. Rich was there to help heal.

In 1995, while living in Oklahoma, she was at the Federal building after the bombing to walk injured victims and family members of those killed in the blast, through the desecrated remains prior to it being imploded.

Then came 911 and she was a regular on morning television news programs trying to help people deal with the grief, rage, and loss we experienced at the hands of brutal ISIS terrorists.

She tried to get to Israel to provide trauma counseling shortly after the October 7^th Hamas massacre. But in the midst of the chaos and turmoil, only military personnel were allowed to fly into the country.

We sat down to talk about the direct and indirect trauma that Jews in America and all across the globe are experiencing.

“People respond to trauma very differently,” she tells me, “More sensitive ‘feelers’ take things really hard. Whether they know someone who was personally involved or not doesn’t matter. They are highly empathic people who have an immediate response and a hard time coming out of it. Other people might take longer to process the stress and trauma. It may look different. But they are still empathic.”

I confess to being an empath and ask what we are supposed to do to protect our psyches as we witness this kind of brutality. Dr. Rich recommends unplugging. She jokes about the sidelong glances she used to get from the program director at the news station where she appeared post 911.  She told viewers, “Folks, turn off your televisions. You can only watch those horrific images so many times before it starts to make your soul sick.”

While that might have been the end of Rich’s tv news career, she still adheres to that same principal and tells me, “It’s about balance. You can be informed without watching hours of traumatizing footage.”

“I feel guilty turning it off,” I say. “What gives me the right to walk away and go to the gym or have my hair done? People in Israel, can’t just ‘turn it off.’” “Survivor guilt is real,” she responds.

“But your self-care might enable you to better reach out and help where you are able. Taking care of your own psyche prevents you from being incapacitated with sadness and depression.”

Dr. Rich recommends engaging in stress management techniques like exercise and spending time with people to lift yourself up. Attending community gatherings that encourage unity is also a great way to destress.

I ask about how to help young kids and teens cope with all the negative energy and dissent. While she admits she’s not a social media expert, Dr. Rich recognizes, “Social media is really angry and confrontational right now, and not very empathic. The rhetoric is so angry and accusing. Young adults are getting the brunt of it. It’s painful trying to figure out who’s with you and who’s against you.”

“Listen to your kids,” Dr. Rich advises. “Ask them what questions they have and reassure them that they are safe and will continue to be safe. That is the primary job for adults in their lives. Listen more than talk. Ask questions and really listen to what kids are saying.”

She also encourages anyone who is struggling to unplug and reach out to clergy, temple personnel, and counseling organizations for referrals to mental health practitioners

Overall, Dr. Rich suggests, “Go to rallies or smaller town halls. Put yourself in a room with people who share your feelings and emotions. And most importantly, talk to people. Let them share in whatever you’re thinking and feeling.”

She acknowledges that many people feel they should suffer in silence, hide their emotions, and not make waves. She disagrees profoundly with that. “Now is the time to make waves, big waves,” she adds, “In peaceful, thoughtful, and ethical ways.”

While the signs of trauma vary by individual, here are some red flags to watch for:

• Irritability
• Anger
• Depression
• Tearfulness
• Overwhelm
• Nightmares
• Sleep disturbances
• Being unusually quiet, withdrawn, or distant